In character if not in profession, I am a teacher, first and foremost. I believe in the value of shared information and I believe that virtue requires complete and total honesty. In these respects I am extremely strong-minded and that has led many to perceive my confidence as arrogance. Be that as it may, I am completely open to anyone who is able to show me where my beliefs have gone awry. I insist, however, that you show me rather than merely tell me. As illustrated clearly by this profile, I manage my existence by the Socratic principle that the unexamined life is not worth living.

I find OkCupid pretty trustworthy. I think the "personality awards" they've given me are pretty accurate.

I have earned a master's degree and am spending most of my effort these days looking for the right career for my future; until then (or perhaps from then on), I'll continue working for the state of California.

I expend considerable time and effort trying to be a moral paragon, but I always fail a little bit. That's probably for the better, though, since most people who are convinced that they are morally superior fall pretty far from the mark. I'm actually frequently disappointed at myself for not being morally perfect.

Logic. Diction. Understanding. Identifying the main points in a discussion.

I'm also good at writing and rewriting this profile so that it makes you laugh or think a little bit more each time you read it.

I'm also good at that thing you like.

I'm kind of short, kind of fat, kind of balding, and kind of unassertive, so most girls are kind of not interested in me. But only kind of.

People notice that I keep to myself. (Some surely think I'm stuck up.) I'm not intentionally impolite, but I do have things to do in this world before I go and I intend to get them done. I rarely go out of my way to be noticed, and I am convinced that this disadvantages me socially.

If people get me talking, they notice that I'm quite knowledgeable about a few areas of philosophy and a little knowledgeable about almost all areas of philosophy (and some other things) and that I have a knack for explaining very technical and abstract things in a way that is easy for a new student to understand (or at least come closer to understanding).

nonfiction: Hume, Michael Dummett, Crispin Wright, Robert Brandom, Kripkenstein (but not the rest of Kripke).

radio: The Don and Mike Show, The Dr. Dean Edell Show, Car Talk, Ring of Fire, almost anything on NPR or PRI.

philosophical positions: (semantic) anti-realism, consequentialism, mathematical intuitionism, Socratic intellectualism.

video games: Adventure, Zelda II: the Adventure of Link, Super Mario Bros. 2, Age of Empires, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

foods: Lasagna, Enchiladas, Murgh Makhani, Baklava.

board games: Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, Diplomacy, Backgammon, Scattergories.

movies: Harold and Maude, Dr. Strangelove (or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb), Office Space, Tampopo, Paths of Glory, Come and See.

comic strips/webcomics: Calvin and Hobbes, Non Sequitur, For Better or For Worse, Foxtrot, Dinosaur Comics, White Ninja Comics, a softer world, xkcd.

physical activities: The only one I do at all often is walking while reading. I would love to find somebody who could get me to join them in a regular dose of any of these others that I enjoy, but rarely make time for: kayaking or anything involving paddles or the water, swimming, basketball, weight lifting, charity walks.

music: I'd rather listen to a fine performance or recording of a mediocre piece than a mediocre performance or recording of a fine piece. I like music that gives me the feeling that I've heard nothing like it before. I need to hear the talent of the musicians in the music. I do NOT listen to music on the radio. I have no interest in live music venues where the audience isn't mostly silent or where the point is to watch, dance, or socialize rather than listen. Lyricists I have a fondness for include Bob Dylan, Jim Croce, John Fogerty, Dr. Frank, Eminem, Chuck D, John Linnell (of TMBG), Stephen Sondheim, Paul McCartney, Smokey Robinson, and Ira Gershwin. Spectacular voices include Patsy Cline, Art Garfunkel, Gordon Lightfoot, Tracy Chapman, Paul Robeson, Frank Sinatra, Otis Redding, Johnny Cash, Carl Wilson, and Billie Holiday.

fiction: J.D. Salinger, William Shakespeare, Vladimir Nabokov (Part I of Lolita is my absolute favorite piece of fiction), Edward Albee, Voltaire. I am slightly ashamed that I still haven't tried Jane Austen, (though I did read John Austin, Sense and Sensibilia).

television: Extras (series one), The Atheism Tapes, Frontline, All in the Family, Duck Tales, Fawlty Towers, Square One TV, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (middle seasons), The West Wing.

religious belief systems (keep in mind that belief systems are different from traditions and practices): agnosticism, atheism, humanism, Jainism, Reform Judaism, Unitarian Universalism.

art: See my brother's photography. Then buy something.

okcupid tests: The World Leadership Worthiness Test • The How Effective is Your Profile? Test • The Diction Test • The How Difficult Is Your Life Test • The Will You Make a Good Parent Test • The What Should You Major In? Test

Because this essay "question" sucks so bad, I'm establishing a six things hijack. Proposals for what to replace this question with are currently being accepted.

...how much luckier I am than a lot of people.

I also like to think about: the nature of objectivity, truth, and goodness; the Bohm interpretation of quantum mechanics; the mating practices of the naked mole rat; Soren Kierkegaard's knight of infinite resign; Salinger's Glass family; how biological perceptual systems manage to solve the binding problem; the pigmentation of cephalopods and other natural non-vocal communication mechanisms; the sorry state of the American mental health and education systems; models of consciousness; the ethics of belief; the innateness hypothesis and the modularity hypothesis; the scope and limits of the commerce clause of the U.S. Constitution; infatuation and limerence; Cantor's diagonal argument and the continuum hypothesis; prohibition, prescription, and any alternatives; creatures that don't fit well into a standard taxonomy; the Milgram experiment and the Zimbardo experiment; agnoiology...

fighting crime under the name "Hindsight Guy". You should see my cape.

Really, though, I'm probably alone in my room reading something fascinating and learning something I didn't know before.

If you would like to suggest a better use of my Friday nights--and I hope you will--please message me with the details.

I'm not sure which of these is a more private thing than the others:

1. This profile probably gives some people the idea that I'm pretty intense. I'm actually very laid back. All of these things are true, but I don't go around talking about them often. They are, after all, private.

2. I don't think there is a moral difference between killing someone and letting someone die if you can risklessly save her.

3. It would be correct for you to take everything I say at face value.

4. I don't have any tolerance for idiots. Thankfully, tolerance and compassion are different things.

5. I'm agnostic about most statements about my sexuality. I don't know if I am primarily sexual or asexual, primarily bisexual/pansexual or unisexual, primarily heterosexual or homosexual, primarily masculine or feminine, primarily monoamorous or polyamorous. (My guesses at the moment are those in each pair that I named first, but most of these have changed from time to time.) I can say, fairly surely, that I love committed relationships and committed friendships, and that my anatomy is male. Queerness and/or Genderqueerness are just fine.

6. If there had been a gun in my house when I was young, I wouldn't be alive now.

7. The easiest way to sadden or frustrate me is to give me the silent treatment.

8. I will trust you--no matter what you say--until you give me a reason not to trust you.

9. My younger brother is mentally retarded and has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

10. I struggle with addictive behaviors. I also struggle over creating a concept of addiction that makes sense to me. I'm not convinced that it's a disease, but I'm not convinced it is a choice either.

11. There is nothing I appreciate more than trust.

12. I think the giving of gifts is more often a bad thing than a good thing; the giving of gifts, of course, is a different thing than charity or aid. It's not that I think gift giving is evil; it's just that I think it's often a way of accumulating trash when there are better ways of expressing appreciation.

13. I try to place the same value on every human life. In other words, I would just as soon put myself in danger to save a couple of strangers as I would to save my brothers. On the other hand, I do put more value on the lives of individuals who have the willingness and ability to make the world better for others (which thankfully includes my brothers) as compared with those who don't. How genetically, geographically, socially, economically, religiously, or culturally close to me an individual is makes no difference in my moral calculations, and I will hold it against you if it makes a difference in yours.

14. I will not hurt or kill another living creature--no plant, bug, or critter--so long as I can keep control over my biological instincts (which I manage to do most of the time). I believe that this is consistent with eating meat. If you think that's contradictory, let's talk about it.

15. My MBTI is INTJ, my Enneagram is 5 or 9, my IQ is at least 2 standard deviations above normal, my ASVAB (lmao) was V89/M97, my SAT was V600/M700, my ACT was 29, my GRE was V610/M740/A800, and my LSAT was 166. I never took a preparation course for any of it.

16. My kindergarten teacher wrote on my report card, "Does all work carefully (except coloring which I think is boring to him)." She was right.

17. I have little patience for and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation, but I recognize that it is a game everyone has to play anyway.

18. I spend more time alone in my room than anyone you know.

19. I do everything with more efficiency than anyone I know.

20. I'm a peacemaker by nature, so it is very difficult for me to confront/address a conflict or problem I have with you face-to-face. So, instead I will write it out for you.

21. I have attempted suicide.

22. If you want to seduce me, you should wear White Linen (by Estee Lauder), Light Blue (by Dolce & Gabbana), I Love Love (by Moschino), Michael (by Michael Kors), or anything smelling of roses.

23. I don't easily excite in lust or anger, but I do in love and sadness.

24. I don't like the phone, and would prefer using it only for very brief periods or not at all.

25. I will not dance. It is conceivable that this could change, provided I find an extraordinarily patient woman who doesn't like to laugh at clumsy rhythmless people and who is willing to take a dance class with me.

26. I have not set foot outside my country since I was an infant.

27. If I were to be conscripted into military service, I would neither go to war nor would I flee the country. (If I couldn't sign up as a medical noncombatant), I would go to jail like any decent peace-loving American who respects his fellow citizens. Even if there were such a thing as "civil escape", it would not be any kind of civil resistance. (Though if this country continues to go to hell due to the ignorance and/or stupidity of the majority of its citizens, we might get to the point where it just isn't worth making a stand, and I'll expatriate myself.)

28. I don't believe there are objective moral facts. I alternate between rejecting that they're objective, rejecting that they are moral, and rejecting that they are facts.

29. I am still on speaking terms with (though I may not be actively in communication with) every person I've dated.

30. One of my more outrageous ambitions is to write a faithless bible, something to give the faithless a sense of community, inspiration, guidance, and support. I also search for similar things that are already in existence. If you know of one, tell me.

31. Years ago, I once fell in love internetly. I was faithful to my cyber-girlfriend for more than a year. She was not.

32. I miss having a home swimming pool. If I had one, I'd be in it every single summer day.

33. My favorite U.S. Supreme Court Justice is Stephen Breyer. (I miss you, David Souter!)

34. I want to share my life with a woman resembling Katharine Hepburn in her qualities of wit, confidence, force, charm, beauty, talent, integrity, and intelligence. (If such women exist, however, I'm sure they could get a better man than me. My actual expectations aren't nearly this high.)

35. I keep a philosophy blog at Blogspot. Also, Facebook/Myspace.

36. Sometimes I wish I wasn't attracted to people. I always feel so dirty when I can't like an ugly person as much as a pretty one when they have the same non-physical characteristics. But then I wonder whether I'd like very many people at all without physical attraction. Perhaps I'd be more isolated than I already am.

37. Go read number one again. That's an important one.

...you think there might still be more to know about me, and you'd like to find out what that is.

If you are local and have attempted, earned, are earning, or plan to earn a graduate degree, I'd especially like to hear from you.

If you don't message me, this will all have been a waste of my time. Go ahead and do it!